So, I was at this royal-themed pub the other day, right? You know the kind, all Union Jacks and crowns, where the bartenders wear top hats and monocles. I swear, they're not just there for the tourists, they genuinely enjoy dressing up. Anyway, I got talking to this guy, let's call him Chaz, and he was going on about how Prince Harry's birthday was coming up. I thought to myself, "You know what, Chaz, I've been wondering about that myself. How old are these princes, anyway?"
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Why do you care, article-writer-person? They're royalty, they've got it made, they don't age like the rest of us." Well, first off, rude. Second, I'm curious, okay? And third, even royals have birthdays, and I happen to think it's fascinating that we all know when they are. It's like we're all invited to their very exclusive, very private, very fancy birthday parties. In our heads. While we're doing the dishes.
Prince William
Let's start with the older one, shall we? Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, was born on June 21, 1982. That makes him... drumroll ...40 years old. Yes, you read that right. The guy who's second in line to the throne is a whole decade older than I am. And he's got two kids! I can barely keep my houseplants alive, and he's got two children. Life's not fair, is it?
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Now, I know what you're thinking. "But article-writer-person, he's a prince! He's got nannies and all that." True, but still. He's 40. Forty! That's like, really old. In royal years, that's like, what, 50? 60? I don't know how royal years work. Maybe they're like dog years. Maybe he's like, 80 in royal years. That would explain the top hat and monocle.
Prince Harry
Now, let's talk about Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex. He was born on September 15, 1984. That makes him... another drumroll ...38 years old. Yes, you read that right too. He's younger than his brother. By two whole years. I know, I know, it's shocking. It's like, how do they even function?
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Now, I've heard some people say, "But article-writer-person, Harry's got that ginger hair. It ages faster." To which I say, hogwash. That's just a myth. I've got ginger hair, and I'm only 30. Well, I'm 30 in human years. In royal years, I'm probably like, 45. Or something. I don't know, I'm not good at math.
But seriously, folks, these princes are grown men. They've got families, they've got responsibilities. They're not just playing dress-up and drinking tea all day. Well, okay, maybe they do drink a lot of tea. But still. They're old. Or, you know, older than me. Which, let's face it, isn't saying much.
So there you have it. Prince Harry is 38, Prince William is 40. They're both old enough to be your... well, they're both old enough to be your prince. Which, let's be real, is pretty cool. I mean, I'd rather be their age and have a crown than be my age and have a mortgage. But that's just me. Maybe I should start drinking more tea. Maybe it'll make me feel more royal.