Alright, grab a cold glass of something sparkling, because we’re about to do the math on the real ages of the Selling Sunset cast. And let me warn you: it’s more confusing than figuring out why Chrishell’s dog wears a cashmere sweater. We all know they’re selling multi-million dollar homes, but the real estate on their birth certificates? That’s the true luxury listing.
Here’s the kicker: these glamazons don’t age like normal humans. They age like fine wine, or perhaps like a Botox-infused cheese that only gets sharper and more expensive. But thanks to some very public birthdays and a little detective work, we’ve cracked the vault. Buckle up, because some of these numbers might just send your collagen into a tailspin.
The OGs of the Oppenheim Group
Let’s start with the boss, Jason Oppenheim. The man with the jawline of a Greek god and the hair of a shampoo commercial model. Jason was born in 1977, which makes him a sprightly 47 years old. I know, I know—he looks like he’s perpetually 35, probably because his skincare routine costs more than my rent, but your eyes aren’t deceiving you.
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His twin brother, Brett, is also 47, because that’s how twins work, but Brett usually hovers in the background like a calm, shirtless ghost. The real shocker? Jason is dating a woman in her 20s, and somehow, no one bats an eye. That’s the power of a seven-figure commission check, folks.
Mary Fitzgerald: The Queen of Patience
Ah, Mary. The emotional backbone of the show, who has survived more relationship drama than a telenovela. Mary was born in 1980, making her 44. She’s been with Romain, who is 12 years her junior, but honestly, age is just a number when you share a mortgage in the Hollywood Hills.
Fun fact: Mary has been in real estate for over 20 years, which means she was selling houses while the younger cast members were still learning how to tie their shoes. She’s also the only one who can calm down Jason during a meltdown, which is a skill worth more than any listing.
The Leading Ladies and Their Secret Math
Now, let’s talk about Chrishell Stause, the eternal ray of sunshine. Chrishell was born in 1981, so she’s 43. But here’s the twist: she looks like she’s been cryogenically frozen since 2010. Her secret? Lots of dancing, a killer smile, and probably a pact with a witch who lives in a Malibu cave.
Heather Rae El Moussa (née Young) is a year older, born in 1980, so she’s also 44. She’s the “newlywed glow” poster child, but don’t let that fool you—she’s been hustling in this industry longer than most of us have been paying taxes. And she’s married to Tarek, who’s 43, so at least they’re in the same decade, which is more than we can say for some couples on this show.
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The Wild Cards: Amanza and Emma
Amanza Smith is the wild card, born in 1976, which makes her 48. Wait, what? Yes, Amanza is the secret grandma of the group, and she’s got the chaotic energy of a 25-year-old who just discovered tequila. She’s the one who will show up to a showing with a paint-splattered t-shirt and still outshine everyone in custom Chanel. Honestly, she’s proof that age is just a number and that number is “don’t care.”
Then there’s Emma Hernan, who joined later and looks like she was born smelling of rose water. Emma is 34 (born in 1991), which makes her the “baby” of the main cast. But she’s also a self-made millionaire who owns an empanada company, so she’s not just a pretty face—she’s a profitable one.
The Younger (But Still Rich) Newbies
Let’s not forget the new blood, like Chelsea Lazkani, who is 32, and Nicole Young, who is 40. Chelsea brings the British sass and a level of directness that makes the older ladies clutch their pearls. Nicole, on the other hand, has decided her entire personality is “Chrishell’s ex,” which is a bold choice for a woman in her forties. But hey, drama pays the bills.
And then there’s Bre Tiesi, who is 33 and famously had a baby with Nick Cannon. Yes, that Nick Cannon, the human fertility god. Bre’s net worth is reportedly higher than some of the OGs, which just goes to show that age and babies don’t slow you down if you’re selling luxury real estate.
The Surprising Takeaway
So, what have we learned? The cast of Selling Sunset ranges from 32 to 48, with an average hovering around 40. But here’s the real shocker: they all look like they’re frozen in time, while the rest of us are just trying to remember where we left our reading glasses. The secret isn’t the sun—it’s the high-end SPF, fillers, and a lifestyle that involves never touching a dish sponge.
So next time you watch an episode and feel bad about your own crow’s feet, just remember: Jason Oppenheim is closer to 50 than 40, and he still wears a shirt unbuttoned to his navel. If that doesn’t give you hope, nothing will. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go apply my third layer of under-eye cream and pretend I’m 35 again.