So, you're curious about the age of Justin Martin, the bearded wonder from Duck Dynasty, huh? Well, grab a seat, let's dive in like a duck on a June bug.
Let's Time Travel
Imagine, if you will, the year 1988. Hair bands ruled the airwaves, the Berlin Wall was still standing, and in the small town of West Monroe, Louisiana, a baby boy named Justin Martin was crying his way into the world. That's right, folks, our favorite redneck philosopher was once a tiny, squalling bundle of joy.
Now, you might be thinking, "But wait, I thought he was older than that!" Well, hold onto your overalls, because here's where it gets interesting. Justin might look like he's been around since the Civil War, but that's just the magic of facial hair, y'all. It's like when you wear a big hat, it makes you look taller, but in reverse and with more beard oil.
Must Read
Age is Just a Number
You know, age is just a number. It's like when Si says he's "not a number guy," but then he goes on to list all the numbers he's not a guy of. Anyway, Justin might be older than some of the trees in the Louisiana bayou, but he's got the heart of a young'un. He's like a fine wine, or a good pair of jeans - he just keeps getting better with age.
Speaking of age, did you know that Justin is actually the youngest Martin brother? Yep, you heard it here first. He's got two older brothers, Alan and Jase, who are both ancient by comparison. I mean, they're practically fossils. Justin, on the other hand, is just a mere... well, I guess he's still older than some of us, but you get the point.
PHOTOS: See The Men Of "Duck Dynasty" Without Their Signature Facial Hair
Age Doesn't Define Him
Now, you might be wondering, "But how old is he, really?" Well, as of this writing, Justin is a sprightly 34 years young. That's right, he's just a baby, really. A big, bearded, duck call-blowing baby.
But here's the thing, folks, age doesn't define Justin. He's more than just a number. He's a husband, a father, a duck call inventor, and a reality TV star. He's the guy who can make you laugh until your sides ache, and then turn around and make you think about the deeper things in life. He's a modern-day philosopher king, if you will, and he's got the beard to prove it.
So, there you have it. Justin Martin is 34 years old, but who's counting? After all, as Si would say, "Age is just a number, and numbers don't mean nothin' to me." Now, pass the duck confit, would ya?